This blog, for the most part, is all things Dexter. But not today. Today, this post is for my father, Carlos Topacio. As I said in the previous post, this blog is therapeutic for me, it calms me and sometimes lets me reflect on things.

So strange that now as a father, I sometimes forget that I am also a son. And now I'm a grieving son having lost my father this morning, Friday, September 30. He succumbed to cancer.

I don't want to remember Pop the way he looked the last few weeks. I want to remember him as a healthy guy who took a night job in order to take care of me during the day. I want to remember him taking basketball shots with me in the driveway. I want to remember him putting me on his lap so I could "drive" on our street. I want to remember him itching (not wanting) to go to Las Vegas at every opportunity. I want to remember him beaming with pride on my wedding day. I want to remember him as a father and a grandfather.

I want to remember him as a happy man on his own wedding day with his beautiful young bride.



I like to think that my dad is more handsome than I could ever imagine to be. I believe the Tagolog (and Spanish) term for that is "guapo". I like to think that he looks pretty neat in this old picture. Love the hair!



There's so much to say about him, but it's difficult. I've said my peace to him before he left us. I'll be haunted by some things, but I think that we're both glad we had a chance to say our last goodbyes.

In the background, I can hear Dexter trying to say, "Daddy" and it makes me feel better. When we were pregnant with Dexter, we debated on whether he should call me "dad" or "pop". Funny, I don't think I've ever met another person who referred to their father as "pop".

Well, to me, there is only one Pop, my father.

Pop, I love you. May you rest in peace.

I'm not sure if I've said it before, but this blog is like therapy for me. It helps me feel better by writing about our little Dexter. And with that...

Dexalotapus has a new set of kicks. These were on sale the other day at Doumitt Shoes here in Alameda and had to get them for D-Unit. Cue up "My Adidas" by Run DMC



Sometimes I wish I could get in the stroller and have Dexter push ME around. I'd like to say that the outfit that Dexter has on coupled with the way he's standing (bow-legged) reminds me of my pop.



Dexter is big on pointing out things now. You can't see it on this shot, but he's pointing out a cat crossing the street.



Here's the cat that Dexter was pointing out. At first glance, I thought the cat was missing an eye, but upon closer inspection, one eye was just dialated. Kinda spooky how one eye of the cat is dialated and the other isn't.



Another day, another outfit; but with the same new shoes. This time, he's pointing out a squirrel.



Certain poses, like this one, are difficult to capture, but I was quick on the shutter button!

Where do I start? The past week has been a roller coaster for my family. My father has been hospitalized. Cancer is an ugly disease that is taking my father away from me. I wish there is something I could do, anything to make things better.

The following was the blog post that was supposed to go up before my dad got sick. I'm hoping he's feeling better and that he knows that I'm respecting his wish of loving and taking care of my own family. I'm praying for you, Pop. I love you, Mom, CJ and Victor very much.

I know my family's very tired. I'm tired too, but that's because I've been to Los Angeles three times in a little over a week.

As I was saying, here's the post that was supposed to published before my dad got sick...

Dexter's FINALLY getting a enough hair to get bed head. He's sort of going for that emo/hipster look that is en vogue nowadays.



This past Saturday, we took the ferry into San Francisco to have lunch and buy some fresh produce at the SF Farmer's market. The Bay Bridge was closed all Labor Day weekend so we ferry'd over to SF. On the ferry ride, you get a clear view of the Port of Oakland. Suzie says that when she was a kid, these cranes at the Port of Oakland remind her of the snow walkers from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. It's actually no surprise since George Lucas supposedly fashioned those snow walkers on these cranes.



Again, not many pictures of me in the blog so please excuse the dorkiness. We were enjoying the view of the SF Bay on the ferry.



We went out to have lunch for Labor Day. It was the last day before Suzie started her job at Bananas!



Before heading off to her first day at work, Suzie dropped the Dexican off at his new mommy, er, new daycare provider, Heather.



And last but not least, Suzie's new home away from home

I love you, Pop.